Get Off My Red Carpet
{Fashion Critique}: Kate Middleton, Olympic gala concert

This is positively teal-rific. 

Note: I am not a fan of teal. I blame it on a misguided bride for her hideous wedding color choice. Teal taffeta is flattering on no one. 

HOWEVER, Jenny Packham has reinvented it for me and I like it anew. And why wouldn’t I, look how smashing Kate Middleton is in this thirties inspired stunner:

Kate Middleton, teal, Jenny Packham

Isn’t it delicious? The style of the gown perfectly suits Kate’s slender frame. The back is even lovelier than the front:

Kate Middleton, Jenny Packham, teal, fashion

The lace back and cap sleeves. The covered buttons. Those pleats! I’m so smitten with goffering; I simply can’t help myself. The attention to detail is magnificent. And I’m so glad to see the Duchess decided to forego her usual hairstyle in favor of  an up-do. Never cover up design work like this. Plus she looks lovely with her hair off her face. You should do this more often my dear.

There is one thing though that could have made this ever so much better…

Kate Middleton, Jenny Packham, teal, fashion

That I can see her scapula straining against the lace can mean only one thing: poor posture. She tends to slouch. A lot.

      Kate Middleton, Jenny Packham, teal, fashion

Most unfortunate. She *can* stand up straight - one need only look at photo 2 to see that she’s capable. All that yoga isn’t good for her physique alone. But maintaining posture is as much a practice as yoga and one to which she needs to give attention. 

      Kate Middleton, Jenny Packham, teal, fashion

There are few instances when I like a matching handbag. This is one of them. Anything else would pull focus from the dress. She did, however, choose her favorite pair of silver Jimmy Choo sparklers and who can blame her really:

Kate Middleton, Jenny Packham, Jimmy Choo, fashion

They’re fabulous. 

Image credit: Wenn, Goff, PA, Splash, Goff, Goff

{Fashion Critique}: Kristen Stewart, Snow White London premiere

I don’t know about you but I’m rather excited to see the Snow White and the Huntsman when it lands in the US June 1. I’m not a big Kristen Stewart fan, mostly because she lacks authenticity, but I pay attention to her because I think she has  potential. I’m patiently waiting for her to drop what she perceives as being “cool” - the superfluous cursing, the moody attitude, the trying way too hard in the style department - in favor of growing up. I think it will happen. Eventually. I see glimpses on occasion. 

So while I wait for her to realize she’s reached adulthood I’m going to trash the dress she wore to the London premiere:

For the love of style who told her this was her dress? This isn’t anybody’s dress. Marchesa’s attempt at the avant garde failed miserably with these human anatomy inspired designs. At least Jennifer Lawrence’s "muscle" dress had a cute shape. Kristen’s dress resembles a gothic ode to body hair. Her armpits appear to be sprouting forth and spreading like a skin disease on to her chest while her navel and lower abdomen follow suit with their own special tufts of black. And what *is* that around her hips? A puberty peplum? 

The back isn’t nearly as bad as the front. The sequin spine is interesting enough. Had Marchesa stopped with that it might have been salvageable but I just can’t look at this dress without thinking it needs a wax.  

Image credit: Getty

Love the contrast of a gorgeous gown against the street backdrop. Classic NYC.

Costume Institute Gala’s After Parties
Sofia Vergara in Marchesa.

Love the contrast of a gorgeous gown against the street backdrop. Classic NYC.


Costume Institute Gala’s After Parties

Sofia Vergara in Marchesa.

{Fashion Critique}: Met Gala 2012, part five

And the final post on the Met Gala madness. Most fabulous is last of course! 

Mary Kate Olson, The Row


Damn’t Mary Kate,  you’re SUPPOSED to save the ritual burning attire until AFTER the summer solstice.

Leighton Meister, Marchesa


Oompa loompa doopity do I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you. 
Oompa loompa doopity dee, if you’re wise you’ll listen to me:

     Step away from the spray tan booth.

Ginnifer Goodwin, Monique Lhuillier


Love it. Love the color, the beautiful neckline detail. You are forgetting one accessory: a smile. Inspired shoe color my dear. Love that.

Florence Welch, Alexander McQueen


Only Florence Welch can pull this off. It’s a lot of dress but it suits her aesthetic.

Rooney Mara, Givenchy (w/ Riccardo Tisci)


Love it. The only sheer lace skirt worn right, too. 

Karolina Kurkova, Rachel Zoe


Say it with me: I can’t believe this dress is from Rachel Zoe’s collection. I know, I am as stunned as you.


But good lord is Karolina Old Hollywood fabulous or what? She is vamping this dress and kicking everyone’s red carpet booty. The turban makes it:


As does the smile. 

More Met Gala fashion critiques:

Image credit: Getty

{Fashion Critique}: Met Gala 2012, part four

The Met Gala red carpet is ever so much more fun than any awards ceremony every thought about being. Capes! Side boob! Aprons!

Bianca Brandolini D’Adda, Dolce & Gabbana


Well, Liberace would think it fabulous.

SJP, Valentino


I had bed sheets like this when I was little. Didn’t have the matching shoes though. Pity.

Diana Agron, Carolina Herrera


Gorgeous. Even Christina Ricci’s life size bow in the background can’t detract from how wonderful she looks.

Donna Karan, her own design


We all know our bodies change as we age. Even clothing that fits doesn’t always work well with our less than elastic bodies. Donna should know this. She should also know that boob spillage at the armpit is a no no.

Gwyneth Paltrow, Prada


MY EYES! You were too busy role playing as a porn star housekeeper with the hubby when you realized the time, eh GP?

Amazing legs and I don’t blame you for showing them off but when you go that short, you have to cover up the top. I know you know this rule. 

Cate Blanchett, Alexander McQueen


And this is how you do fabulous. And feathers. 

More Met Gala fashion critiques:

Image credit: Getty 

{Fashion Critique}: Met Gala 2012, part three

The awful and the fabulous just keeps coming!

Diane Kruger, Prada


Y’all know I love feathers right? I even have a Pinterest board dedicated to my feather love. But this isn’t how you wear them. Feathers are hard to wear. Feathers dyed a bright color are even more difficult to wear because the image frequently conjures up Muppets. (See also, Beyonce.) On another woman this would look completely different. There’s definitely a Ginger Rogers feel to the skirt. But not today and not on you.

Elizabeth Banks, Mary Katrantzou


I don’t know what happened here. Elizabeth usually does quite well in the style department…


… but her tray table isn’t in the upright position. 

Eva Mendes, Prada


Dear Prada, this dress is in need of ProActiv help. 

Rachel Zoe, her own design


Hard to believe this woman is a stylist and a “designer”. I’ve never seen anyone actually achieve concave before. Clearly why she’s glaring at the photog like he’s a cheeseburger. Or it could be those crazy ass eyebrows. 

Julianne Hough, Carolina Herrera


This is just a “world peace” answer away from a beauty pageant.  

Bee Shafer, Erdem


Beautiful. She’s rocking the blue/black fall trend early and who better to wear than Erdem? 

More Met Gala fashion critiques:

Image credit: Getty

{Fashion Critique}: Met Gala 2012, part two

The fun never stops.More Met Gala madness:

Kristen Bell, Tommy Hilfiger 


Beautiful juicy color. Love the neckline on her but her hair is competing. Better to do a low pony or chignon. Also needed, better jewelry. Newsflash: they let you BORROW it honey.

Jessica Biel, Prada


At first glance I loved this dress. But then I saw the hem and I cringed. No, not the length - that I like - the thick, unpressed appearance. It’s very odd on such a sleek dress. And honestly, the more I look at it, the more I dislike how it lays on the body. It bulges in odd ways which tells me the fabric has a stiffness that doesn’t lend itself to form fitting silhouettes. Fail.


Also the accessorizing, while not bad, isn’t great either. The haircut is meh and the makeup washes her out. Camera flash is not our friend. Always a good idea to plump the color on the lip and cheek just a bit. The rear view, however, is still pretty awesome and that’s what everyone is looking at anyway.

Lana Del Rey, Joseph Altuzarra


Bored and clearly waiting to bite someone’s neck. This woman is such a marketing gimmick. But here I am talking about her. Well played.

Kristen Stewart, Balenciaga


I admit I am not a big Kristen Stewart fan but she has so much potential to be interesting on the red carpet that I can’t help but cheer her on and hope for more. Not today. This dress looks like it was inspired by a daycare: red block - check!, blue block - check! And she’s just trying way too hard with those ridiculous shoes.

Kanye West, Givenchy


Seriously, could you put away the bitter bitch expression for one event and just pretend you’re blessed beyond measure or talent? Ass.

Katherine McPhee, Elie Saab


Meow Katherine. So Karen can be sexy. Who knew? She spends so much time running around on Smash trying to figure it out…does anyone still watch this show? I gave up. Anyway, this silhouette loves you my dear as does this color. Just get better jewelry next time. Those earrings are far too grandma.

Rosie Huntington-Whitely, Burberry


And this is how it’s done. Beautiful. 

More Met Gala fashion critiques:

Image credit: Getty + Patrick McMullan (last photo)

{Fashion Critique}: Met Gala 2012, part one

This year they live streamed the red carpet and was it ever a hit. So much more fun than the awards shows. Starlets play it far too safe but you can always count on the fashion people to bring it and, good or bad, they do not disappoint.

Ashley Greene, Donna Karan Atelier


Beautiful of course. Love the swag at the hip. The white is pretty but there was so much white during awards season that I’m completely over it.

Christina Ricci


An enormous bow came to the Met Gala accessorized by Christina Ricci. 

Amber Heard, Zac Posen


Pretty but expected. Is Zac Posen aware that other dress silhouettes exist? Cause I’m really tired of seeing this one on. every. starlet. on the west AND east coasts. Still, there’s a Grace Kelly look about her which is nice but Grace Kelly and Edith Head did it better.

Beyonce, Givenchy


I think I see her rug.


Yep I do. Hire your sister to be your stylist ↓

Solange Knowles, Rachel Roy


Girl you kicked your Muppet wearing sister’s ass all over the red carpet. Love the hair, love the yellow. Watch that hem honey, you’re treading dangerously close to  one of my pet peeves…


…but who gives a shit about hemlines when you can accessorize like this. Meow.

More Met Gala fashion critiques:

Image credit: Getty 

{Fashion Critique}: Derby Style, Miranda Lambert

It’s the most wonderful time of the year
That’s bourbon you’re smelling
And everyone’s yelling out “Fab hat my dear!” 
It’s the most wonderful time of the yeeear!

It’s bourbon and hats season, er, horse racing season in the south and you know what that means: copious opportunities for fashion critiques! I kid. Much like awards season, attire overshadows celebration of talent and horse racing is not immune: more talk of hats than the horses. But it’s also part of the fun of the atmosphere. And I adore hats and fascinators - this is candy for me! So who was excited to see Miranda Lambert sporting a smart fascinator on her pretty head? Let’s have a look:


I’ll admit to a big smile when I saw this pic of Miranda in a fascinator. It suits her sassy personality and an excellent choice on her part in a sea of large brimmed hats. I don’t however like the matching earring and necklace set. That is a style no no. Never match earrings to the necklace. It’s much more flattering and  interesting to wear jewelry pieces that compliment as opposed to being a matched set.

Her retro inspired dress is cute but it’s too small in the bust which likely means she tugged on the bodice a time or ten - also a style no no - and it’s probably partially responsible for her slouched shoulders. Women tend to unconsciously slouch when wearing ill-fitting strapless numbers. It doesn’t help it stay up ladies. Better to get the larger size and have the waist altered down to fit you than walk around with hunched shoulders or tug on your dress all afternoon. Don’t pay attention to the size numbers; they don’t matter. What matters is how you feel and you need to feel like you’re not going to flash a boob when your hands fly up in excitement because your horse won. 

Inspired shoe color though my dear. Love that.


Who doesn’t love that diamond bow cuff? Delightful. And see what I mean by contrast? Had she worn a bracelet matching the necklace it wouldn’t be nearly as interesting or fun. The other bracelet, however, conflicts style wise. Still, even with the style misses, she’s such a doll! 

Image Credit: Theo Wargo/WireImage

{Crushing}: Neon Accents

I admit when the season’s popular trend popped up I had flashbacks. I lived through the 80s when neon was HUGE. No one - no one - looks good in neon. I didn’t want to venture there again. 

But, dare I say, I’m actually liking the application of neon this season; mostly used as an accent in accessories rather than full on attire bathed in retina searing hues. And paired with nudes, greys, and the seasons pastels - it’s elegance with an edge. This, I can do.

My favorite neon finds:

These leather bracelets from gorjana make my heart skip a beat. If you want more mileage from neon purchases beyond this season, I would stick with (mostly) yellow or orange. The acidic quality of these citrusy hues pair beautifully with most any pastel and won’t look out of place once the trend tapers off. As we move later into the year, neon pink belts will still look smart paired with Fall 2012’s navy and dark blues. 

I fell in love with these shoes when I saw them on the Ann Taylor site. Had to have a pair. They’re the perfect hint at the neon trend without overdoing it. Classic with an edge and they look great with so many items already in my wardrobe: acid pastel cardigans + denim capris, navy striped pants, grey linen trousers for summer. They are currently my “go to” shoe for the every day. 

There’s just something about that highlighter yellow that just gives me whiplash. A daring stripe across a minimal zip-top pewter clutch is so elegantly street worthy. 

This is neon for the adults.

For more trends and personal pins: 

Image credit:  gorjana, Ann Taylor, clutchny 

{Big Screen Fashion}: Hunger Games, the ladies

The ladies of The Hunger Games. Bright Capitol inspired colors or golden “girl on fire”? 

Elizabeth Banks in Atelier Versace, LA premiere


Love the sassy style and juicy color - hello Tangerine Tango - but the accessorizing is tired. For starters, the high heeled feet need to go. Nude shoes are what people wear when they don’t know what shoes work with their dress. Orange is difficult because you risk looking Halloween-ish and we don’t want that comparison.

Walk with me for a moment because orange-red is the Pantone color for 2012 and folks need to know how to do this: picture it with purple. black. gold. No way around it: Halloween. The way to solve this is by wearing a shoe with pattern such as a leopard print OR by working a bi-color heel of gold paired with navy or black. Let’s go with the latter; something with an edge to it as well. Something like the shoes Elle Macpherson wore to the Fashion Star premiere. Perfect! And if they were navy, they would be all the better.

Final thought, you look a little monotone in the face honey. No man on the planet thinks lips the color of liquid foundation is fetching. Juice those lips up a bit will you?

Elizabeth in Bill Blass, London premiere


Canary yellow on a red carpet is an attention grabber; always. Lovely color, lovely style. Again, boring on the details. I’m not a matchy-matchy gal but I won’t strike her for the matching clutch. I will, however, strike her for the lack of jewelry. Good opportunity for some bangles here. Gold, enameled - your choice just wear SOMETHING. 

Elizabeth in Marc Jacobs, Paris premiere 


She’s reinforcing the Capitol attire by bringing the color. I like it though Effie Trinket would tell her to take it up a notch. Way, way up. And she does need to bring it a bit more but let’s not do it by wearing pink wigs and teetering on too-high heels. Let’s do it by not donning the boring combination of black shoes and a black clutch with a daring dress. She has great style with regards to attire but a serious aversion to detail. This is what often makes, or breaks, an ensemble. Elizabeth, you’re treading dangerously close to the dress wearing you instead of the other way around as it should be. Hire a stylist to help you finish up the accessories and a makeup artist to bring some life to the funeral pallor. 

Elizabeth in Elie Saab, Berlin premiere


And this is when she finally meets fabulous. This is her hairstyle and look and she should run with it.  

Jennifer Lawrence in Prabal Gurung, LA premiere


Clearly she went for “the girl on fire” (read the book). Heavy handed eye makeup aside, at first glance all is beautiful. But then she starts to move…


Images 2, 3, 4 

…and it all goes to hell. Because if you walk (image 2), lose your posture (3), or drop a hip (4) in this dress it becomes a crumpled heap around the hips. Why? Because tissue lamé is the most unfriendly fabric on the planet to try and hug the curves of a woman’s body. Its make-up just doesn’t allow for the placement of the seams as they are on this gown. So long as she is mostly still and pushes the fabric in place as in the first pic, everything is lovely.  The shoes, though, are killer. Good call in the daring footwear department J. Gold star to match that dress for the shoe choice. 

Jennifer in Ralph Lauren Collection, London premiere


More gold. She’s working that “girl on fire” angle really hard. Similar hair, similar color choice and zero accessories means I am now quite bored with this look. And it’s too long - you know how I feel about puddled hems.

Jennifer in Tom Ford, Paris premiere   


What, no gold? Okay so there’s some gold but she reversed the emphasis which is the right thing to do if she’s sticking to this theme. If you’re “the girl on fire” you should definitely be going for heat and she did. Backless + long sleeves = superb balance of skin on display. The black eyes are gone and we now have a very vampy red lip. Yes, yes, yes! 

Jennifer in Marchesa, Berlin premiere


I suppose it wasn’t possible to end on a high note. She’s finally wearing color but the design has the unfortunate appearance of an anatomy chart. Stunning visual you give us Marchesa. 

For more Hunger Games fashion critiques: {Big Screen Fashion}: Hunger Games, the guys  

Image credit: Getty, Wenn (final photo)

{Big Screen Fashion}: Hunger Games, the guys

You didn’t think I was going to not post red carpet critiques for possibly the biggest book come movie since the Harry Potter franchise did you? (yes I am PURPOSEFULLY ignoring that other, poorly edited vampire series that shall remain nameless) Let’s talk about the fellas first shall we:

Liam Hemsworth in Dolce & Gabbana, LA premiere


Word of advice regardless of the color carpet you’re walking: don’t stand like you’re ready to take a piss at the urinal. And for God’s sake get your hands out of your pockets. See how it pulls the fabric on your pant legs? I do like that you’re working a three piece though if it wasn’t for the jacket looking a bit big. I do tend to prefer fellas wear jackets in a trimmer cut.

Josh Hutcherson in Z Zegna, LA premiere


Is it me or does he look like a young Nathan Lane? Anyway, he looks quite dapper for the LA premiere. I love the 3 piece suit but would prefer to see him be a bit more fashion forward with the shoes and tie. I know what you’re thinking, “But Jennifer, you’re just *looking* for something to complain about.” Well yeah - isn’t that why you’re here?

Liam, London premiere


Those are some seriously trim pant legs you have there Liam. I didn’t know leggings was an option in men’s suiting. I do think he looks much more handsome in this cut than in the suit worn to the LA premiere - even if he looks like he’s wearing jeggings. 

Josh, London premiere


I don’t know about you but I got a case of whiplash when I saw this pic. Not typical attire for walking the movie premiere red but I actually like it on him. Those of you who know me, know my favorite neutrals are grays paired with camels and caramels so of course this is appeals to me. Save for those ridiculous shoes reminiscent of Buster Brown, he looks very put together. I like the risk.

Liam and Josh, Paris premiere  


All these premieres and photocalls on both sides of the pond are clearly taking their toll. How else do you explain the gray tinge to their skin? They both look like death on a cracker. I do like Liam sans tie though and Josh, when the color comes back to your skin, go get some adult shoes will you? 

For more Hunger Games fashion critiques: {Big Screen Fashion}: Hunger Games, the ladies 

Photo credit: Getty