Get Off My Red Carpet
{Fashion Critique:} SAG - Berrylicious

Nothing is more flattering to the skin than berry tones. EVERYONE looks great in some shade of cherry pink or raspberry. Fortunately there were several lovely gowns in these mouth-watering tones. So how did they do?

Sofia Vergara, Marchesa

         

Aside from being a bit bored with her mermaid uniform, Sofia always looks fantastic. And this lush berry tone is definitely fantastic. Gown is too long but aren’t they always? I like very much that she pulled her hair back for a change however I would like to see something a bit more eye-catching than a low pony. You can do it Sofia. And lose the bracelet my dear. Not working. A gold cuff would have been more appropriate and a beautiful compliment to the color.

Julie Bowen, Temperley

         

This gown was a favorite for me. It’s a beautiful nod to Grecian antiquity but with a contemporary edge. I adore this color on her and the blouson bodice is a welcome change from the ubiquitous rib cage hugging look. The downers? Her hair and makeup could have been more dramatic to hold up against the dress. And then there is those ridiculous platform shoes. You know how I feel about those. And they’re never appropriate with a gown ladies. They make your feet look clunky and huge. Why do this? Better yet, who wants big feet? 

Michelle Williams, Valentino

        

When I first saw Michelle it was only from the bosom up and I liked what I saw. And then I saw the rest of it and wondered what happened. Aside from her serious aversion to support undergarments (get a bra honey), from the waist up she looks beautiful but it all goes to hell at her feet. Platform shoes with that asymmetrical hem? Are you kidding me Michelle? Not to mention those shoes look like the dyed to match bridesmaid shoes we all wear once and never wear again because well, why would we? They look cheap. And they cheapened the look Michelle. Please do better come Oscar time. You have it in you

Dianne Agron, Carolina Herrera 

        

Carolina looks good on Dianne. She needs to go with this. Great hair (love the little braid) and that raspberry color is delicious against her pale skin. A bit more oomph to the makeup and this would be spot on. Save for those very wrong purple platforms peeking out at the hem.

Mary Steenburgen, David Meister

         

But for a little overkill in the accessory department, Mary is rocking this gown. Lose those earrings (they’re competing with the detail on the dress) and get that too long hem fixed up and you’d be fabulous.

{Fashion Critique:} SAG - Cut It Out

A few ladies hit the red carpet in gowns with angular midriff cutouts. The geometric lines are difficult for most to wear because a balance between angular and curvilinear lines needs to exist in the body itself. They can’t compete. In short, if you’re curvy, you will look doughy and dumpy. If you have a more athletic figure, then it will only serve to emphasize the existing angles. In addition, this really works best on those with a well-defined waist because it can give the illusion that the waist is straighter than it actually appears to be. So who got it right and who shut it down?

Jenna Ushkowitz, Rebecca Minkoff

       

No. Just no. Where do we begin? Her posture is terrible and she has no waist to speak of because of this. The color is awful. It washes her out. A solid color would be much improved. The bi-polar skirt can’t decide if it wants to be long or short. And those cap sleeves are a definite no. Cap sleeves are reserved solely for women with arms that are the same width at the top as they are at the elbow. Otherwise, it will emphasize the width at the top and make the arm appear larger than it is in reality. Keep trying my dear. Better yet, hire a stylist. 

Amber Heard, Zac Posen

          

Looks like Edward Scissorhands designed her dress. This does nothing for her fabulous shape. 

Kyra Sedgwick, Emilio Pucci

          

This is how you wear this style dress ladies. It’s not my favorite dress from the red carpet but it looks fabulous on her and she looks comfortable and confident in it. And her posture is fantastic - ladies, take note.

Photo credit: Getty 

{Fashion Critique:} SAG - Brilliant in Blue

These ladies opted for a shocking blue hue to grace the red carpet and it was a nice change from all the black and white gowns. So who made it brilliant and who made it dreadful?

Penelope Ann Miller, David Meister

         

Judging by the horizontal tug of war going on across her body, the seams on this dress are struggling to keep her in it. Not to mention it wreaks of late 80s / early 90s. 

Jane Lynch, David Meister

            

We all know Jane is not the fashion forward type which is why she sticks with this style of gown. Though I am bored with seeing her in the Jane Lynch uniform at every awards show, the style suits her and I can’t complain. It’s perfectly hemmed and the color is fantastic on her.

Jessica Chastain, Calvin Klein

         

Beautiful color with her hair. The simplicity is quite stark and the lower bustline raised many an eyebrow. Smaller busted women can wear necklines this low without it looking gratuitous. The one thing she needed to change was the jewelry. While beautiful, it wasn’t suitably age appropriate. A beautiful dangle earring in a longer length swinging about her face would have been lovely.

Photo credit: Getty

{Fashion Critique:} SAG - Back in Black, bodice edition

Part 2 of the SAG award posts brings more black with an emphasis on a prominent non-black decorative element. Who nailed it and who failed it?

Jane Krakowski, Antonio Berardi

      

When at first glance a gown makes you do a double take because it appears that one’s breasts are exposed, it’s probably not a good choice. That bodice panel is exactly the same color as your skin, Jane. Your tits are beaded. Quite a feat.

Maya Rudolph, Naeem Khan

         

Maya, this was a perfect opportunity to rock that smoking mommy body and you missed it. While not terrible, it doesn’t suit a woman who is currently sporting a dairy in her bra. Head to toe color was called for here as well as some structure at the waistline. Plus, this is more appropriate for an older woman, not a hot momma. 

Tina Fey, Versace (vintage)

         

If you could just stand up straight Tina, you’d look great in this gown. And different hair. The hair is …. snoooore

Emilia Clark, Chanel

        

Fire your stylist. The waist is too high. The sleeves too big. The little bits of black fabric in the neckline too messy. The dress is wearing you dearest and it should be the other way around. 

Photo credit: Getty 

{Fashion Critique:} SAG - Back in Black

Next to the Oscars, the SAGs are my favorite awards show. It has a more casual atmosphere than the Oscars and stars don’t have to step it up quite as much as they do for the Oscars. That doesn’t mean one can get lazy, mind you. So who did it well and who failed?

Glenn Close, Zac Posen

         

Back away from the Zac Posen. The gown is too tight, the mermaid style doesn’t suit you, and those sleeves look like Frankenstein’s bride. 

Amber Riley, Badgley Mischka

     

Sometimes I question stars and celebrities choices, sometimes I question the designer’s sanity. Here it is the latter. We left the butt bow in the 80s but Badgley Mischka thought it needing resurrecting on the boobage instead. Fail.

Angelina Jolie, Jenny Packham

         

This fabric looks so different in photos than it did on video. Here the harsh camera flash makes it read as if it’s made from black trash bags. She’s still lovely of course.  And I loved her gold jewelry - a fresh change from gemstones. Note to starlets: check your gown in camera lighting and video lighting. The rest of the world will only see it in these formats and you need to keep that in mind when choosing a gown. 

George Clooney, Armani, and Stacy Keibler, Marchesa

         

George, darling, you’re such a handsome man. Please buy a tux that fits. The jacket is too wide, the pants too long. Go down a size will you love? Stacy, you know exactly how to dress as a +1 for an awards show. And you do it beautifully. (Psst, a handbag other than black would have been nice though.)

Heather Morris, Masai Payan

         

Heather, you really don’t have to go to Rue 21 to buy a dress. There are these people called stylists and designers who will make sure your gown isn’t bi-polar (I’m long! I’m short!). And they can fix things like your hair. And your jewelry. And…oh nevermind.

Jayma Mays, Reem Acra

         

This is how you do black. Jayma you look beautiful. You’re flirting with the age appropriate line but you haven’t crossed it. Yet.

Photo credit: Getty

{Fashion Critique}: Golden Globes - make a splash

Popular skirt trend on the Golden Globes red carpet: the mermaid. A beautiful skirt and the shape most associated with the “bombshell” image. So who did it well and who did it better?

Elle Macpherson, Zac Posen

    

Elle hasn’t aged a day in twenty years. She certainly won the gene lottery. Sadly, her taste in fashion has not improved in said twenty years.  Win some, lose some. And this is definitely losing. Did she make a bet with Heidi Klume and the loser had to wear a dress from the toilet paper episode of Project Runway? Or maybe she’s been crowned Queen Charmen in an endorsement deal gone bad. Regardless, should anyone on the red carpet get a runny nose, she can hook them up.

Reese Witherspoon, Zac Posen

               

I like seeing starlets do something other than their usual red carpet formulas. The style of this Zac Posen gown is beautiful on Reese and the sweetheart bustline is lovely with her heart shaped face. Pity it doesn’t fit. I could look past the fact that it’s a bit too tight through the thigh but that crumpled heap of fabric at her feet is a disaster. There’s 3 extra inches there. If you have to kick your hem out in front of you when you walk, IT’S TOO LONG. Ladies, your gown should fit so that you have no need to fuss with it. Ever.

Paula Patton, Monique Lhuillier

   

The color of this gown perfectly suited her sunny personality. She clearly felt beautiful in it and she indeed looked it. I smiled just watching her walk the red carpet. I’d love to see some diamond bangles on her wrists but that’s a minor critique. That dark nail polish, however, needs to go. Keep it neutral and understated. Let the dress do all the talking.

Sofia Vergara, Vera Wang

    

I really tire of Sofia’s mermaid dress formula that she consistently wears on the red carpet but, you have to admit, no woman can do for this silhouette what she can. The peacock blue color is a welcome change and those tiny folds and tucks in the skirt are divine. I would have liked to see her wear a loose up-do for once just to shake it up a bit. Otherwise she looks amazing as always.

Image credit: Getty

{Fashion Critique}: Golden Globes - age appropriate

What is age appropriate you say? It simply means that the clothing suits the age of the wearer. And yes it is important. It also happens to be a peeve of mine. So who got it right and who failed miserably?

GOLD STARS FOR GETTING IT RIGHT.

Helen Mirren, Badgley Mischka

   

Can I be as fabulous as Dame Helen when I grow up? Just goes to show you that age is merely a number and her’s is 66. She proves you can cover up AND be sexy at the same time. Ladies take note.

Ariel Winter, Dolce & Gabbana

       

Young starlets are the biggest offenders of the age appropriate gaffe and I want to commend Ariel for getting it right. At 14 yrs of age, she has plenty of years to wear the grown up gowns. This is the best length for a teen to wear (leave the full-length gowns to the adults ladies, you’ll get there soon enough). Her hair is perfect for her age and aren’t her shoes the sweetest with those little bows?!

Diane Lane, Reem Acra

               

Diane glowed in this golden confection from Reem Acra. Again proving you can cover up and still be sexy. Every commentator remarked on how fantastic she looked in this dress and I have to agree.

FAIL. NO STARS FOR YOU.

Lea Michele, Marchesa

               

Another awards show, another barely there dress for Lea Michele. Can she not let this look go? It fits her beautifully (bravo Marchesa) but this is a dress for a woman in her thirties or forties, not twenties. On a twenty-something it just reads ice skater. Moving on.

Kelly Osbourne, Zac Posen

       

I don’t even no where to start. This woman is a fashion commentator so why, why is she wearing this matronly pointy shouldered thing in Star Trek blue? Improperly hemmed at that. And why the lilac-grey hair? This color was fine for pompadour wigs during the renaissance but not here, not now. Why purposefully age yourself? I realize it’s much harder to dress yourself than critique others but you’re on E! Fashion Police Kelly. No excuse. And while I’m at it,  get those poorly thought out tattoos lasered off your forearms. Thank God they don’t show here.

Giuliana Rancic, Basil Soda

               

And we have another E! Fashion Police host who can’t dress herself. Giuliana fancies herself a fashion forward type but I’ve never seen her choose anything that properly flatters her. On her show she doesn’t wears half a dress, on the red carpet it’s always too much dress. And way to choose a color and style that sucks all your youth Giuliana. This ages you by about 10 years. Hire a stylist. At least she isn’t oompa loompa orange this time. 

Image credit: Getty

{Fashion Critique}: Golden Globes - channeling old Hollywood

Old Hollywood gowns were all about the fabric, commonly satin. The design details came in the treatment of the fabric. Folds, pleats, tucks, draping. Think Rita Hayworth in Gilda or Grace Kelly in her blue Oscar gown. It takes a masterful hand to create these works of art and precious few can do it. So who did it well and who did it better?

Natalie Portman, Lanvin

    

Natalie received many accolades for this gown but I never warmed to it. The draping is sloppy. The neckline is an attempt to appear carefree but is actually careless. Draping should accentuate the body but it looks like they rolled it off the bolt, pinned it on and shoved her out the door without much thought. Nothing about the design reads as having been done with any kind of purpose. I’m also perplexed by her choice to wear pink and red again on the red carpet.  

Angelina Jolie, Atelier Versace

    

I was so excited to see Angelina wear a gown so classically Hollywood. The fabric is incredible; drapey but still holds its shape along the seams. Not one pucker anywhere. Beautiful folds and twist at the hip and that bit of red on the flip side of the neckline is a genius design detail. Her choice of a red handbag and a red lip is flawless. So glad she kept the shoe to the color of the gown. Anything more would have been too much. She knows precisely when to stop with accessorizing.

Image credit: Getty  

{Fashion Critique:} People’s Choice Awards, part 1

It’s the official start of awards season and first up is the People’s Choice Awards. Green was a popular choice last night - all in a very similar value of green too which is unusual. I’m loving green right now and I was glad to see something other than red or black. So how did they do?

Emma Stone (Gucci) and Nina Dobrev (Elie Saab)

               

I loved Emma’s Gucci ensemble. It’s age appropriate and suits her aesthetic. And the green color is beautiful on her. However, considering the more masculine look of her attire, she really needed to do more with her hair and makeup. She looks as if she stepped out of the shower and let her hair air dry. This is what you do when you’re running errands. It isn’t Red Carpet worthy. I also found myself distracted by her choice of shoes. Note: I dislike red polish with any peep toe shoes other than red. When you do this ladies, the eye keeps picking up the red dot and moving to the floor. Keep it to red shoes only and lose the distraction. You want people to notice all of you. 

Nina’s dress is lovely (it *is* Elie Saab after all) but it isn’t age appropriate. It’s much more suited to a woman in her thirties. And those shoes…are…awful. Why Nina, why? They don’t even fit you my dear. She looks like a little girl who raided her mom’s closet. Predictable hair. Predictable makeup. Yawn.

Whitney Cummings (ASOS)

          

So yeah, did anyone else think of this when you saw Whitney:

          

I think we all did. Green, long sleeves, sparkle, long brown hair. Of course we all went there. While I’m sure she wasn’t intending to channel Angelina’s 2011 Golden Globes Versace stunner when she chose this dress, it reads as a cheaply done version of it. Positively cringe-worthy. And she’s another who looks as if she showered and forgot to do her hair. Ladies, you have to finish the look. We can see when you get lazy about it. We can also see when it looks like you stopped at Wal-Mart on the way to the show to pick up your accessories. 

What is indeed superb is the length of this dress on her. Whitney has beautiful legs. Seriously, google other images of her in this dress. Fantastic legs. She should definitely keep showing them off and adorn them with a more fabulous footwear choice.

Images: Getty 

{Fashion Critique:} Dragon Style

Back from a holiday hiatus! Hope yours was lovely and grand!

I’ve seen so many photos of Rooney Mara of late at premieres for her new role in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo that I *had* to do a post on her Red Carpet style. Her style is so defined and so unique I doubt anyone else could pull off a similar aesthetic with such grace and confidence. 

Stockholm premiere:

                     

She knows how to do black better than anyone I’ve seen. Always interesting, always fearless. The wide leg trouser, the wrap top with cutouts, the red lip on the red carpet and those side swept bangs that whisper a little at Audrey Hepburn. 

Madrid premiere in Rodarte:

          

Again with the side swept bangs but softer makeup here. I like her un-fussy style. She’s so minimal in her choices but it works so beautifully. 

          

Perfect length - no trip worthy hems here - just a lovely, feminine train.

Berlin premiere in Michael Kors:

          

By far my favorite look she’s worn yet. Like I said, she knows how to wear black while keeping it interesting. The high-low hemline and the peek-a-boo decolletage is fantastic. Choice of a headband with fringe bangs = perfection.

          

Credits: Sven Lindwell / Solarpix / PR Photos / Getty / Away! 

{Fashion Critique:} CMA Awards, part 3 

We have finally arrived at the “good” portion of the CMA Awards critique series. And after shlogging through all that bad, our retinas are in need of some good. I’ve chosen my five favorites for the good. There were several others that were fine but I didn’t love them enough to include them in the evening’s best dressed.  

Carrie Underwood // Photo: Getty Images

    

You could throw nearly any Reem Acra dress at me and I would wear it. Some thought the matchy-matchy hair, dress, clutch was too much but the simplicity of this clutch works well with the detail of the dress. Carrie does the golden goddess look frequently and it works beautifully for her. You can’t expect every starlet donning a golden gown and clutch to carry a contrasting purse. It becomes too uniform and where is the fun in that? I would however love to see contrast in a fabulous pair of heels peeking out from the PERFECT hem of that dress.

Taylor Swift // Photo: Getty Images

    

Beautiful J Mendel gown. Few country genre artists choose such fanciful gowns as Taylor so I’m always interested to see who she is wearing. Some thought this looked a bit too bridal but I disagree. White and tulle shouldn’t be exclusive to bridal wear and ballerinas. The raw fabric edges at the gathered skirt balance the formality. Should I mention that I’m a sucker for contrasts? Tulle and silk + fraying edges = loving it. 

Sara Evans // Photo: Getty Images

    

I don’t usually like Sara’s choices so I was glad to see her wear something that suits her for once. The color and the drape is beautiful on her and I like her color choice in accessories. I’m not dishing over the necklace but I don’t hate it. Something about it works for her which is what style is all about: finding what works for you regardless of (perceived) rules and trends. The problem I do have is the same old peeve I usually bark about: too long hemlines. Would like to know what shoes she’s wearing under there. 

Hillary Scott // Photo: Getty Images

    

I can not shout loudly enough how proud I am to see Hillary wear something that flatters her. She tends to choose clothing that hides her middle which makes her look dumpy. One need not be a waif to be beautiful. You look like old Hollywood Hillary and it looks good on you girl! Run with it. Here is when it would have been appropriate to go with a contrasting clutch. Is it wrong that she chose matching? Of course not but the simplistic detail in the fabric was a great opportunity to shake it up a bit. But I’m not complaining, I’m admiring that PERFECT hem!

Jennifer Nettles // Photo: Getty Images

      

I adore this dress by Naeem Khan. I adore the Art Deco period that inspired it. And I adore the overskirt draping at the hip. Have I mentioned how much I adore this? Easily my fave dress of the evening. 

There you have it. Those dressed atrociously never cease to entertain us and provide us with much opportunity for snark, and those beautifully attired know how to make us swoon. Until the next red carpet…

CMA Awards critique, Part 1

CMA Awards critique, Part 2 

{Fashion Critique:} CMA Awards, part 2

Part 2 of the CMA Awards red carpet circus. Yes, circus. Don’t worry, after today my final posts on the CMAs will be all of the good to right all of this wrong.

LeAnn Rimes // Photo: Andrew Evans, PR Photos

         

My first glimpse of LeAnn’s dress was from the ribcage up so I couldn’t really form much of an opinion about it. And then she presented an award and I sat there pondering the finer points of why she opted for a frilly dorsal fin on her dress. It could be worse. And it will be. Keep scrolling.

Meghan Linsey // Photo: Andrew Evans, PR Photos

         

I’m expecting 100+ Dalmation puppies to come running into view at any moment. Who did this to her? Cruella? She’s too bleached, too poofed and way too severe. The shoe is wrong for this dress and the clutch looks cheap. Steer clear of gathered satin clutches ladies - they ALWAYS look cheap. The dress is cute but inappropriate for all awards shows save for the MTV Awards. This would actually be much prettier and sexier by changing the neckline to a bateau style and adding 3/4 lace sleeves. Opening up the neckline gives the illusion of a longer neck because you’re seeing more skin. And if you’re going to go super short, you need to cover something else. Adding 3/4 lace sleeves would do the trick and then she could sport a gorgeous bracelet and lose that tacky ring.

Laura Bell Bundy // Photo: Andrew Evans, PR Photos

         

I tried to refrain from using an Esther Williams reference here but I just can’t. Sue me. It just screams 1950s synchronized swimming musical. And it’s 4 inches too long. And she’s wearing platforms. 

Jane Dear Girls // Photo: Andrew Evans, PR Photos

         

I give up.

CMA Awards critique, part 1.