Get Off My Red Carpet
{Fashion Critique}: Kristen Stewart, Snow White London premiere

I don’t know about you but I’m rather excited to see the Snow White and the Huntsman when it lands in the US June 1. I’m not a big Kristen Stewart fan, mostly because she lacks authenticity, but I pay attention to her because I think she has  potential. I’m patiently waiting for her to drop what she perceives as being “cool” - the superfluous cursing, the moody attitude, the trying way too hard in the style department - in favor of growing up. I think it will happen. Eventually. I see glimpses on occasion. 

So while I wait for her to realize she’s reached adulthood I’m going to trash the dress she wore to the London premiere:

For the love of style who told her this was her dress? This isn’t anybody’s dress. Marchesa’s attempt at the avant garde failed miserably with these human anatomy inspired designs. At least Jennifer Lawrence’s "muscle" dress had a cute shape. Kristen’s dress resembles a gothic ode to body hair. Her armpits appear to be sprouting forth and spreading like a skin disease on to her chest while her navel and lower abdomen follow suit with their own special tufts of black. And what *is* that around her hips? A puberty peplum? 

The back isn’t nearly as bad as the front. The sequin spine is interesting enough. Had Marchesa stopped with that it might have been salvageable but I just can’t look at this dress without thinking it needs a wax.  

Image credit: Getty

{Fashion Critique}: Met Gala 2012, part five

And the final post on the Met Gala madness. Most fabulous is last of course! 

Mary Kate Olson, The Row


Damn’t Mary Kate,  you’re SUPPOSED to save the ritual burning attire until AFTER the summer solstice.

Leighton Meister, Marchesa


Oompa loompa doopity do I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you. 
Oompa loompa doopity dee, if you’re wise you’ll listen to me:

     Step away from the spray tan booth.

Ginnifer Goodwin, Monique Lhuillier


Love it. Love the color, the beautiful neckline detail. You are forgetting one accessory: a smile. Inspired shoe color my dear. Love that.

Florence Welch, Alexander McQueen


Only Florence Welch can pull this off. It’s a lot of dress but it suits her aesthetic.

Rooney Mara, Givenchy (w/ Riccardo Tisci)


Love it. The only sheer lace skirt worn right, too. 

Karolina Kurkova, Rachel Zoe


Say it with me: I can’t believe this dress is from Rachel Zoe’s collection. I know, I am as stunned as you.


But good lord is Karolina Old Hollywood fabulous or what? She is vamping this dress and kicking everyone’s red carpet booty. The turban makes it:


As does the smile. 

More Met Gala fashion critiques:

Image credit: Getty

{Big Screen Fashion}: Hunger Games, the ladies

The ladies of The Hunger Games. Bright Capitol inspired colors or golden “girl on fire”? 

Elizabeth Banks in Atelier Versace, LA premiere


Love the sassy style and juicy color - hello Tangerine Tango - but the accessorizing is tired. For starters, the high heeled feet need to go. Nude shoes are what people wear when they don’t know what shoes work with their dress. Orange is difficult because you risk looking Halloween-ish and we don’t want that comparison.

Walk with me for a moment because orange-red is the Pantone color for 2012 and folks need to know how to do this: picture it with purple. black. gold. No way around it: Halloween. The way to solve this is by wearing a shoe with pattern such as a leopard print OR by working a bi-color heel of gold paired with navy or black. Let’s go with the latter; something with an edge to it as well. Something like the shoes Elle Macpherson wore to the Fashion Star premiere. Perfect! And if they were navy, they would be all the better.

Final thought, you look a little monotone in the face honey. No man on the planet thinks lips the color of liquid foundation is fetching. Juice those lips up a bit will you?

Elizabeth in Bill Blass, London premiere


Canary yellow on a red carpet is an attention grabber; always. Lovely color, lovely style. Again, boring on the details. I’m not a matchy-matchy gal but I won’t strike her for the matching clutch. I will, however, strike her for the lack of jewelry. Good opportunity for some bangles here. Gold, enameled - your choice just wear SOMETHING. 

Elizabeth in Marc Jacobs, Paris premiere 


She’s reinforcing the Capitol attire by bringing the color. I like it though Effie Trinket would tell her to take it up a notch. Way, way up. And she does need to bring it a bit more but let’s not do it by wearing pink wigs and teetering on too-high heels. Let’s do it by not donning the boring combination of black shoes and a black clutch with a daring dress. She has great style with regards to attire but a serious aversion to detail. This is what often makes, or breaks, an ensemble. Elizabeth, you’re treading dangerously close to the dress wearing you instead of the other way around as it should be. Hire a stylist to help you finish up the accessories and a makeup artist to bring some life to the funeral pallor. 

Elizabeth in Elie Saab, Berlin premiere


And this is when she finally meets fabulous. This is her hairstyle and look and she should run with it.  

Jennifer Lawrence in Prabal Gurung, LA premiere


Clearly she went for “the girl on fire” (read the book). Heavy handed eye makeup aside, at first glance all is beautiful. But then she starts to move…


Images 2, 3, 4 

…and it all goes to hell. Because if you walk (image 2), lose your posture (3), or drop a hip (4) in this dress it becomes a crumpled heap around the hips. Why? Because tissue lamé is the most unfriendly fabric on the planet to try and hug the curves of a woman’s body. Its make-up just doesn’t allow for the placement of the seams as they are on this gown. So long as she is mostly still and pushes the fabric in place as in the first pic, everything is lovely.  The shoes, though, are killer. Good call in the daring footwear department J. Gold star to match that dress for the shoe choice. 

Jennifer in Ralph Lauren Collection, London premiere


More gold. She’s working that “girl on fire” angle really hard. Similar hair, similar color choice and zero accessories means I am now quite bored with this look. And it’s too long - you know how I feel about puddled hems.

Jennifer in Tom Ford, Paris premiere   


What, no gold? Okay so there’s some gold but she reversed the emphasis which is the right thing to do if she’s sticking to this theme. If you’re “the girl on fire” you should definitely be going for heat and she did. Backless + long sleeves = superb balance of skin on display. The black eyes are gone and we now have a very vampy red lip. Yes, yes, yes! 

Jennifer in Marchesa, Berlin premiere


I suppose it wasn’t possible to end on a high note. She’s finally wearing color but the design has the unfortunate appearance of an anatomy chart. Stunning visual you give us Marchesa. 

For more Hunger Games fashion critiques: {Big Screen Fashion}: Hunger Games, the guys  

Image credit: Getty, Wenn (final photo)